How to Take a Sabbatical
At the end of January this year, I quit my job. I’m a little too type A to have quit without already having something else lined up, but the timing did work out so that I got almost 4 weeks to myself in between. Of course, I have taken time off for vacation and other commitments, but taking vacation at a job you know you’ll be going back to feels a lot different than fully closing out a job before you take off. I figured I would travel a little and have some time at home to relax but I ended up discovering a few things about myself that I never really had the time to unravel before.
First - apparently, I may have been a teeny tiny bit burnt out. It took me a lot longer than I thought it would to decompress after my last day. I felt anxious and almost panicked about the time off. I worried I wouldn’t know what to do with myself and on the second day I literally did nothing. I was paralyzed by the thought of so much time to myself - something that had excited me not a few days previously when I was still working. I was surprised I didn’t immediately know what to do without work. Eventually the feeling abated but it took a lot longer than I expected. I did find a rhythm but I needed some sort of anchor point - a task, an appointment, a lesson - some commitment that I can plan around. The main switch was that work used to be my anchor, but it was more of a forced anchor that didn’t leave me with much control. But during this time off, I could finally choose my own anchor points.
The first anchor point I chose was surf lessons. After I took a couple days at home (to be paralyzed and all) the next 8 days of sabbatical I went to Nicaragua and I learned to surf.* I ended up with a routine there that looked something like this: get up early to have coffee and read, partake in the yoga lesson offered at my hotel, have breakfast, do some more reading and/or writing, go for a long walk, and then go to the beach and do my surf lessons. Because my lesson depended on the tides, it would change time every day, but knowing I had at least that one commitment, helped me continue to get up early and to make the most of the location.
This was the first trip I had ever taken specifically to decompress and to learn something. Every other trip I had taken up until this point had been for work, to spend time with specific people, or to sightsee. All of which involved pretty tight itineraries - usually a specialty of mine - and/or revolved around someone else (weddings, parties, etc.). And even though I intentionally booked this trip to relax, I felt guilty for doing so. I was often overcome by the lack of commitments I had in a day - and being alone on this trip meant I had literally no one else to answer to other than myself, which terrified me.
Leading up to this break, I was rarely spending time with my own thoughts anymore. So the thought of having to spend 3 weeks with them sent my anxiety through the roof. But a few days in, after I got over the initial panic, I found being along with my thoughts gradually became easier. Starting off my break with Nicaragua definitely helped. There, I stayed pretty far off the beaten path. I was surrounded by beach and jungle and only had wifi in the lobby of my hotel. During my walks and time at the beach, I never once used my headphones. I would actually think about nothing - a truly astonishing feat for me. For so long my thoughts had simply taken the form of one never ending to do list. Every time I was alone, all I would be able to think about is the next thing I had to do or the next decision I had to make. So I would overbook myself or in a pinch, doomscroll, to avoid them.
But this sabbatical finally allowed me to break out of that cycle. I finally had a chance to sit and do nothing. To remind myself who I was and what was important to me when I didn’t have work or a thousand tasks clamoring for attention. It was fun to notice what pieces of my old routine I wanted to keep even during this time. I still had my Mandarin lessons on Monday evenings and still had my Greek lessons early on Thursday mornings. I still worked out every day and I still enjoyed reading, writing, and cooking. These continued to act as anchor points in my life once I returned from Nicaragua. In between these was a blank space. I carved out a lot of time to think and reflect and I began to catch glimpses of who I am without any work to validate my existence.
My only lament about this time is, predictably, that it had been longer. Not necessarily for the relaxation, although of course that was a plus, but so I could continue discovering myself outside of an external framework. Even though it was brief, I do think this amount of time allowed for full closure and decompression form my previous job, some actual rest, and to gear up for a new job. This time made the whole process of changing jobs (and industries) a whole lot less overwhelming and enabled me to finally know what being ‘refreshed’ feels like.
*In case you’re wondering, I did in fact go from never having surfed to catching a couple of my own waves by the end of my trip!
February ‘25 Consumption Report
I’ve developed the following rating system, it’s half Michelin inspired and half of my own making.
5/5 - go out of your way to consume this, it is incredible, we will have endless discussions if you do. I’m obsessed.
4/5 - It is good. If you pick it up, I bet you won’t be disappointed
3/5 - Take it or leave it. It didn’t offend nor impress me.
2/5 - It maybe has a couple redeemable qualities. Would not consume it knowing what I know now.
1/5 - Avoid at all costs. Go out of your way to avoid it.
Here are February’s ratings: A surprisingly small amount for this month for being unemployed for most of it…
Books
Artificial Wisdom by Thomas Weaver (4/5)
Maeve Fly by CJ Leede (3/5)
This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno (4/5)
Movies
A Rainy Day in New York (2/5)
Crossroads (3/5)
The Substance (4/5)
Goldfinger (4/5)
The Gorge (1/5)
From Russia With Love (3/5)
You Only Live Twice (4/5)
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (3/5)
TV Shows
Solo Leveling S2 (in progress) 4/5
Severance S2 (in progress) 5/5
Apothecary Diaries S2 (in progress) 5/5
Games
Stray (4/5)
